when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
