I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
she told me i tasted like america
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should frame my arrest warrant.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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