So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
