I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
