Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
