He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
