I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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