so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize