what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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