White coat. Heels.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
