Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
