the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
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I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
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Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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