And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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