where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
