If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
