So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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