I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize