Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
