How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
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