i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
People in love make me want to vomit
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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