Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
