they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
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Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
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Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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