I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
