I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
