I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
