I wannas sexs uuuuu
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
