So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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