dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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