this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
