his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
