hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
