I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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