Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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