God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
