hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
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Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
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You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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