I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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