singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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