But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
