the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
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