weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
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So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
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I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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