We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
