Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
