if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Drake has all the answers
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
