I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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