"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
