I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We left the knife in your bed.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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