better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
