areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
