I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm too high and old for this...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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