I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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