Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
