She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
she pinky promised me she was 18
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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