There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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