I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
