i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
