That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize