Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
