laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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