McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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