last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
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my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
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Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?