He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just high enough for therapy.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I think I just shit out all my problems.