Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college

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  (810): Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college http://tfl.nu/gnu1
  Replies (17) Good night (1897) Bad night (573)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk

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  (352): I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk http://tfl.nu/lbo9
  Replies (7) Good night (3006) Bad night (659)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth

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  (309): I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth http://tfl.nu/zzns
  Replies (35) Good night (3814) Bad night (1479)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.

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  (856): take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month. http://tfl.nu/ebzl
  Replies (23) Good night (827) Bad night (4219)
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  (845): View more from New York

  So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.

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  (845): So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation. http://tfl.nu/fvna
  Replies (21) Good night (9927) Bad night (1297)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.

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  (469): I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed. http://tfl.nu/fhfj
  Replies (33) Good night (6063) Bad night (1044)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.

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  (253): Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style. http://tfl.nu/lnre
  Replies (30) Good night (10835) Bad night (1080)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.

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  (334): How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing. http://tfl.nu/ut8a
  Replies (4) Good night (3245) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?

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  (417): Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"? http://tfl.nu/n06e
  Replies (16) Good night (6711) Bad night (1358)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  You are such a cockblock sometimes

  (661): View more from California

  You NEED a cockblock sometimes

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  (805): You are such a cockblock sometimes (661): You NEED a cockblock sometimes http://tfl.nu/zl8e
  Replies (10) Good night (4559) Bad night (965)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.

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  (417): nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml. http://tfl.nu/44ox
  Replies (3) Good night (915) Bad night (574)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.

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  (201): I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me. http://tfl.nu/s5ef
  Replies (0) Good night (897) Bad night (264)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"

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  (626): Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!" http://tfl.nu/r9i7
  Replies (4) Good night (492) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.

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  (203): Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today. http://tfl.nu/77td
  Replies (0) Good night (480) Bad night (223)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  No this is saxophone Chris

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  (804): Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris? (215): No this is saxophone Chris http://tfl.nu/wuq2
  Replies (10) Good night (1190) Bad night (261)

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