Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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