i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
