i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
