i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
