You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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