What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
