You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
