so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
