I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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